Message from those who call out male corruption and envision a new, ethical, feminine and better way forward. #beyondmisogyny #kidstoo #hellissocialcontol #wecandobetter

Tibetan Buddhist Dharma Friends:

– We don’t entrap and curse people with high control, punitive vows.

– We don’t control and scare people with frightening talk of 18 torturous hells in this or some afterlife.

– We don’t remove, silence, shun and stonewall people who speak out against hurt, harm and abuse.

– We don’t blame women for the misconduct and even violence of some Lamas.

– We don’t threaten that people will go to hell or get sick if they ever leave a teacher or community.

– We don’t mandate pure perception, when what is happening is harm.

– We don’t wear the dharma as a garish robed ornament of spiritual pride.

– We don’t support and defend teachers that are unwell and hurt students and society.

– We don’t sexually or physically abuse children, ever. There is no “kumari” justification for rape, and we must protect young monks and nuns in these institutions.

– Some “yogi” friends proudly claim to use black magic to try to harm people, people that bring to light, these very actions above.

How could we have taken something so simple, open, benevolent, well intended and used it for such darkness? Times and tradition that harms must and will evolve and change, and we must awaken, and not be swayed by attempts to scare us and thwart power.

We can and must do better and listen to the Dalai Lama’s insistence on a full-on “revolution from Lama corruption,” returning back to the raw basics of practice and unconvoluted decency.

If you use religion or your position to instill fear, ownership, exploitation, child abuse, command and control, you then, are the “samaya breaker,” irrespective of your title, that we could consider distancing ourselves from. Yes, the unethical tenets of this tradition can, will and must change.

Basic Healthy Genuine Spirituality:

– We allow people to think for themselves, practice and come to their own internal knowing.

– We comfort and reassure each other with warmth, love, care and fearlessness.

– We are open to healthy, relational resolution and discussion if there are concerns or conflicts with our teacher or community.

– We honor women, children and all students, we speak to and about each other with respect as intelligent and capable.

– We offer to be a support, listen, help, heal or be there for others in need or dying.

– We listen and honor each other’s experience if people are hurt.

– We are humble, ordinary and take off any pious robes or anything that divides, establishes false trust and evokes spiritual arrogance.

– We openly speak out against anyone in power, religious or political, that are unwell and hurt students and/or society.

– We love, protect and nurture our children, the best investment is our healthy posterity!

– We generously work to really help each other and our world with whatever talent and skill we have.


Link HHDL, Recorded at the inauguration of the seminar “Buddhism in Ladakh” @ Central Institute of Buddhist Studies (CIBS) in Leh, Ladakh, India on 1st August 2017. This post was originally published on June 7th, 2020


3 replies
  1. Dawn Boiani-Sandberg
    Dawn Boiani-Sandberg says:

    “When misconduct occurs, the Dalai Lama advised, Buddhists should make the misconduct known. “These people do not follow Buddhist advice, Buddhist teachings. Only thing you can do is make public — through newspaper, through radio. Make public.” His Holiness said that where abusive teachers may not pay heed to Buddhist teachings on ethical behavior, they will likely take notice if their face appears in the media.”


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